Publishing photos of looted Nazi art find could hurt ownership feelings and induce orgasmic sensations in other people like Meike Hoffmann has experienced.

The presser started off with a vivid description of the almost orgasmic spams art Amazone Meike Hoffmann experienced when her eyes fell on those pieces of art. She was touched for the very first time. Chief state prosecutor Nemetz had to somewhat calm her down in order to get the presser back on track.

No, the pics would not be published which was a huge relief for the actual owners who feared that by not knowing what paintings were actually found in the place where A. Hitler started his awesome career they might lay claim to art they did not know exists. And perhaps overpay.

Meike Hoffmann also refused to give any financial assessment as to the value of those pics so as not to hurt feelings of potential claimants for a shabby piece of a cheap sketch.

The audience was relieved to hear the paintings were no more in the place where they used to be, rather in a secure secret place because at this point it was of the utmost importance to first thoroughly assess all tax implications about the euro 9,000 discovered with Mr. Gurlitt in a train 2 years ago.

Focus magazine discovered the loot was stored unsecured in Mr. Gurlitt’s apartment and Focus journalists voiced their concerns over this rather reckless way to keep such treasures.

The presser took a very interesting twist at 11:18 when Chief state prosecutor Nemetz admonished a journalist saying “it would have been counterproductive to go public with this. We did not want to keep the pictures and besides I have no fucking idea who Klimt is.”

The 11th hour could have brought the venue to a full stop when one journo asked how the heck Focus got wind of the whole story to which the Chief replied he would also love to know that, get his hands on that guy and he would gladly hand a trophy to that person before squeezing his balls.

So if you have any claims or have the feeling to perhaps have some, this would be a good time to come forward.

Timeline of Augsburg presser here. It’s in German, you have been warned.

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