In an unprecedented move German chancellor Angela Merkel assumed full and unmitigated responsibility for the disaster at the European Song Contest last night. Flags have been put on half-staff in the whole country and there is an eerie somber mood in the whole of Teutonia reminiscent of the day Konrad Adenauer died.
The Great Reich of Germany finished just 21st out of 26, while Greece managed a respectable 6th place.
Wolfgang Schaeuble was quick to respond by saying that austerity measures have clearly not been tough enough. “Zeese fuckers still have time to sing while Germans work.”